London Returns To Normal After Two Weeks Of Happiness

London Returns To Normal After Two Weeks Of Happiness
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Millions of Londoners saw life return to normal today, after feeling inexplicable happiness for two weeks.

The change began last night, during the Olympic Games closing ceremony, when a mood of carping, sniping and sarcasm began to overtake Twitter.

"It feels really good to have something to complain about after a whole fortnight," said one Londoner. "I'm a bit sad about the Games being over - but that's fine, because I like being sad."

London taxi drivers are especially ecstatic. They were banned from using certain lines during the Games, and are now free once more to be miserable know-it-alls. "It was nearly killing me, being permanently upbeat," one told us. "Thank god I can moan again."

Heathrow, meanwhile, is expecting its busiest day of complaining since people began arriving for the Games over two weeks ago. "Millions of people are leaving, millions are people are coming back... We've got extra staff on to cope with the levels of annoyance," said a spokesman.

And Prime Minister David Cameron praised the capital for its spirit during the Games. "It's amazing how the city's coped with unprecedented levels of happiness," he said.

"The volunteers, members of the armed forces, police and others - everyone who's worked on the Games has been so bloody nice that it's shocked Londoners to the core. I commend their tenacity, and, like them, I look forward to returning to a life of misery."