Frankie Boyle has spoken out about the effects of the government's proposed investigatory powers bill by warning "all it takes is a misspelled search for 'bong-making' and suddenly you’ll be in an orange jumpsuit."
The home secretary launched her latest bid to pass the legislation, nicknamed the "snoopers' charter", after previous attempts failed to gain support within the Coalition government. Now legislating with a majority, she has announced a serious of changes to the bill to appease its detractors.
He wrote: "The government wants to know what we’ve been thinking about, and what could be more sinister than that?"
Boyle imagines the world in which the new bill becomes law, where crimes of thought become more of a priority than physical acts.
"Ideological crime will be prioritised while actual crime is ignored, and we’ll adapt," he wrote. "Eventually, when you see a mugging, you’ll just start WhatsApping emojis of bombs until you hear sirens."
His opinion of May is left in little doubt, as he likens her to a "hawk that's had a This Morning makeover" who's only childhood affection came via "a horse (that) mistook her knuckles for a corn cob".
Predictably the internet is glad Boyle has turned his unique style to taking on investigatory powers.
Frankie Boyle is developing something of a reputation for biting political commentary...
The Best Frankie Boyle Quotes
Lambasting Labour's leadership hopefuls(01 of09)
Open Image ModalBoyle had a few choice words for those running to be Ed Miliband's successor. He accused Andy Burnham and Yvette Cooper of giving interviews "with the halting, guarded intonation of a hostage". He blasted Liz Kendall for having the "alarming air of an Apprentice candidate" but saved rare praise for Jeremy Corbyn, calling him "one of the few decent politicians remaining in the Labour party". (credit: PA/GETTY/REX)
Blistering battering of Branson(02 of09)
Open Image ModalClegg's cutting castigation (03 of09)
Open Image ModalFuming at Farage(04 of09)
Open Image ModalExpletives for X Factor star(05 of09)
Open Image ModalMusings on the media(06 of09)
Open Image ModalBoyle was an unapologetic independence supporter in the run-up to last year's referendum in Scotland. In the aftermath of the result he criticised the media, accusing outlets of carrying a pro-Union bias in their reporting. On independence, he said: "I'm all for it. It won't happen. One of the reasons it won't happen is the media is just completely against it. There's a huge level of media bias." He also said that broadcast bosses were censoring comedy, and observed that current TV guides look like "the entertainment programme on a f****** cruise ship". (credit:JUAN MABROMATA via Getty Images)
Thundering thumping of two million Scots(07 of09)
Open Image ModalThe c-bomb is a certain favourite of Boyle's. But in a world first he used it to decry 2 million people, rather than just a choice selection of victims. Following Scotland's delivery of a slim 'no' majority in last year's independence referendum, Boyle blasted the two million Union supporters "c*nts". In a post on Twitter, he wrote: "I should have expected this, because if you'd asked me to estimate how many c*nts there were in Scotland I'd have said about 2 million." (credit:Jeff J Mitchell via Getty Images)
Censure of Clarkson(08 of09)
Open Image ModalOusted Top Gear frontman Jeremy Clarkson didn't escape Boyle's firing line, after the motoring show presenter was revealed to have mumbled the N-word singing a nursery rhyme in an outtake. Boyle called for Clarkson to be sacked from his top position because he was a "cultural tumour". (credit:Brian Lawless/PA Wire)
Saving sweet words for Sturgeon(09 of09)
Open Image ModalThere is one person for whom Boyle has some rare praise, though. SNP leader and Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon was the subject of "muted horror" in the English media, he claimed. "People feel much more comfortable with the Fifty Shades of Grey version of women’s liberation: possibly feeling life would be much simpler if the suffragettes hadn’t wanted the vote and just really enjoyed chaining themselves to railings," Boyle said. "It feels almost as if the establishment is still assessing her. Which of the traditional tactics to employ: scorn or vilification? Do you call her the most dangerous woman in Britain or stage a smear where she’s a gossipy woman? Decisions, decisions." (credit:ANDY BUCHANAN via Getty Images)