Ah, it’s that time of year again. No, not the ‘Bake Off’ final. NO, not the run-up to Halloween. It’s National Poetry Day.
The English language has been crafted into many fine verses, but some of the world’s greatest ever poets are lurking right underneath our noses, and we don’t even know it.
Yeah, yeah, Shakespeare was brilliant and Carol Ann Duffy is one of the most important writers of our time, but what about Simon Cowell? Yes, you read that correctly. Simon Cowell.
In honour of this fine national day, we’ve reviewed some works (tweets) from our favourite celebs with the help of poetweet, and to prove just how brilliant they are as wordsmiths, here are the resulting stanzas...
Celeb Tweets As Poetry
Simon Cowell (01 of08)
Open Image ModalAs our GCSE teachers would say, Si's poem reveals a lot about what he's really thinking, and it's clear that he often struggles to leave his work life in the office. Until he's having a cheeky meal at the Harvester that is.Grade: B (credit:Poetweet)
Azealia Banks(02 of08)
Open Image ModalAzealia, this isn't a bad effort. Sadly, she doesn't really find her subject matter until the final stanza. Could do with a redraft or two. Grade: C- (credit:Poetweet)
Danny Dyer(03 of08)
Open Image ModalWe're enjoying the cryptic title, and Danny makes a number of pertinent points within his verse. We agree too, Beyoncé is um, "sexy". Grade: B- (credit:Poetweet)
Lauren Goodger(04 of08)
Open Image ModalLauren's decision to use hashtags and emojis throughout her poem is innovative and forward-thinking. It's reminiscent of Emily Dickinson's interesting use of pauses.Grade: B+ (credit:Poetweet)
Kanye West(05 of08)
Open Image Modal'To Overcome' is exactly what we'd expect from the world's greatest rockstar. We'd like to have seen more about the 'Bound 2' video though, rather than a plug for his own merch. Grade: C+ (credit:Poetweet)
Sinitta(06 of08)
Open Image ModalHm. We're sorry, but this early draft just isn't going to cut it. In the third stanza, Sinitta begins to reveal her true self, stepping away from the poetic voice, and it would have been fabulous if she had explored this more. Grade: D (credit:Poetweet)
Phillip Schofield(07 of08)
Open Image ModalThe Cuuuuuube! Oh Phil, this is just perfect. Phillip's smooth transition from discussing work to after hours fun is seamless. James, whoever you are, thank you very much. Grade: A (credit:Poetweet)
'Bake Off' Tamal. (08 of08)
Open Image ModalPerfect. Absolutely perfect. Grade: A++++ and a fast track pass to Advanced Verse 101. (credit:Poetweet)