John Oliver Enlists Dame Helen Mirren To Read Out CIA Torture Report, Including Details Of 'Rectal Infusion'

Dame Helen Mirren Reads Out Worst Bits Of CIA Torture Report
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Comedian John Oliver returned to his critique of the post-9/11 CIA torture programme on his Sunday show, enlisting Oscar-winning actress Helen Mirren to voice an "audiobook" of the unclassified 500-page report that "no one has read."

On the issue of forced rectal rehydration, Oliver noted the details are so graphic, “not even Mirren can make them sound appealing.” Cue the star of “The Queen” reading out the following:

“Majid Khan’s ‘lunch tray’ consisting of hummus, pasta with sauce, nuts, and raisins was ‘pureed’ and rectally infused.”

Oliver revealed that 57% of Americans still think torture techniques provided “reliable intelligence.” However, the report concludes that the tactics were “ineffective,” despite claims by the CIA.

“Maybe the reason so many people innately believe that torture works is because it does, on TV, all the time,” said Oliver. “Torture works on '24' and in the movies because it has to. It’s a dramatic device to move the plot along. But ask terror experts and they’ll tell you it’s one of those movie tropes that has no basis in real life.”

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Helen Mirren arrives at the 69th annual Tony Awards at Radio City Music Hall on Sunday, June 7, 2015, in New York

Oliver attacked the examples of Abu Zubaydah and Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, often cited by defenders of “enhanced interrogation” as instances where torture led to usable intelligence. They did not, according to the report.

“There is no proof torture does any good, but there is real proof it does serious harm to America’s image overseas,” the comedian continued. “References to American torture show up everywhere, from terrorist recruiting tools to official statements from North Korea, who call our techniques ‘brutally medieval.’”

Oliver concludes by noting the only legislation stopping the country from returning to torture is “one easily reversible executive order” by Barack Obama. Unsurprisingly, most 2016 presidential candidates ignored the question when asked by the show whether they would keep that executive order in place.

“America should not be a country that tortures people because it is brutal, it is medieval and it is beneath us,” he said.

Politicians React To CIA Torture Report
Sens. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) and Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga.)(01 of15)
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“As we have both stated before, we are opposed to this study and believe it will present serious consequences for U.S. national security. Regardless of what one’s opinions may be on these issues, the study by Senate Democrats is an ideologically motivated and distorted recounting of historical events. The fact that the CIA’s Detention and Interrogation program developed significant intelligence that helped us identify and capture important al-Qa’ida terrorists, disrupt their ongoing plotting, and take down Usama Bin Ladin is incontrovertible. Claims included in this report that assert the contrary are simply wrong.” (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
President Barack Obama(02 of15)
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"Today’s report by the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence details one element of our nation’s response to 9/11—the CIA’s detention and interrogation program, which I formally ended on one of my first days in office. The report documents a troubling program involving enhanced interrogation techniques on terrorism suspects in secret facilities outside the United States, and it reinforces my long-held view that these harsh methods were not only inconsistent with our values as nation, they did not serve our broader counterterrorism efforts or our national security interests. Moreover, these techniques did significant damage to America’s standing in the world and made it harder to pursue our interests with allies and partners. That is why I will continue to use my authority as President to make sure we never resort to those methods again." (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Sen Mark Udall (D-Colo.)(03 of15)
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"We can protect our national security without compromising who we are as Americans. This landmark study — and the millions of pages of agency documents and testimony it is based upon — shows that torture is not effective and does not make us safer." (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-Mich.)(04 of15)
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“The revelations contained in this report are truly horrifying, and I appreciate my colleagues’ work to make sure the American people finally know the truth. Torturing people not only violates our laws, it violates our country’s most basic values. This dark period in our history and the grave errors in judgment made by key leaders in our government must never be repeated.” (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Sen. Angus King (I-Maine)(05 of15)
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“Despite the unquestionable professionalism of the vast majority of CIA personnel, the study demonstrates that the detention and interrogation program was mismanaged, that some within the leadership of the CIA actively impeded congressional oversight, and that agency officials misrepresented the program’s effectiveness." (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine)(06 of15)
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“I joined the Senate Intelligence Committee after this report was completed, and I share concerns about the process for developing it. However, the report raises serious concerns about the CIA’s management of this detention and interrogation program and the treatment of certain detainees. Torture is wrong and fundamentally contrary to American values. The report should be made public to allow the American people to reach their own conclusions and to make sure lessons are learned from the mistakes made so that they never happen again.” (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.)(07 of15)
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“After years of effort and millions of documents reviewed, the Senate report at last lays out in painstaking detail how the CIA under President Bush and Vice President Cheney turned down the dark path to torture, and then to cover its tracks misled Congress and executive officials about the efficacy of the torture program. These are hard facts to face as Americans, but it’s important that the facts be known. Chairman Feinstein and our Intelligence Committee staff deserve our country's deep appreciation for their extraordinary efforts.” (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nev.)(08 of15)
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"This is how we, as Americans, make our nation stronger. When we realize there is a problem we seek the evidence, we study it, we learn from it, and then we set about to enact change. Americans must learn from our mistakes – as we did with the Pentagon papers, the Iran-Contra affair, and more recently, Abu Ghraib. I believe that the United States can protect our national security without resorting to methods, like torture, that are contrary to our fundamental values. I call upon the Administration, the Intelligence Community, and my colleagues in Congress to join me in that commitment." (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Secretary of State John Kerry(09 of15)
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Release of this report affirms again that one of America's strengths is our democratic system’s ability to recognize and wrestle with our own history, acknowledge mistakes, and correct course. This marks a coda to a chapter in our history. President Obama turned the page on these policies when he took office and during week one banned the use of torture and closed the detention and interrogation program. It was right to end these practices for a simple but powerful reason: they were at odds with our values. They are not who we are, and they're not who or what we had to become, because the most powerful country on earth doesn't have to choose between protecting our security and promoting our values. (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.)(10 of15)
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"Those who served us in aftermath of 9/11 deserve our thanks not one sided partisan Senate report that now places American lives in danger." (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Sen. Chris Murphy (D-Conn.)(11 of15)
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"Torture, covert wars, and illegal surveillance more often than not harm, not enhance, our national security. America cannot be the world’s leader on civil liberties and human rights if our actions don’t match our rhetoric. When this gulf exists between what we claim to stand for, and what the world sees us do, it creates bulletin board material for extremist groups in their effort to recruit against us." (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Sen. Jay Rockefeller (D-W.Va.)(12 of15)
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“The CIA developed the Detention and Interrogation Program in a time of great fear, anxiety and unprecedented crisis; but it is at these times of crisis when we need sound judgment, excellence, and professionalism from the CIA the most. When mistakes are made, they call for self-reflection and scrutiny. For that process to begin, we first have to make sure there is an accurate public record of what happened. The public release of the Executive Summary and Findings and Conclusions is a tremendous and consequential step toward that goal.” (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Sen. Tom Udall (D-N.M.)(13 of15)
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“The release of today's report has been controversial, but it's an important step forward in addressing a stain on our nation’s history. While we can understand the intelligence community’s desire to prevent another attack, a civilized nation should never resort to torture in the name of security. My hope is that this report informs future generations of Americans and ensures that we never undertake programs like this again.” (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Rep. Jerry Nadler (D-N.Y.)(14 of15)
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“As these acts are violations of both American law and morality, we must hold those accountable and prevent such abuses from happening in the future." (credit:Andrew Burton via Getty Images)
Rep. Gregory Meeks (D-N.Y.)(15 of15)
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“To those who question whether the release of this report threatens our national security, I have but one thing to say: Living up to the core principles and beliefs that make this country great is in our national interest. It is only by building international credibility with the rest of the world that we will ever be confident about our national security here at home.” (credit:Bill Clark via Getty Images)