Here we are. It's the midyear point, which means we are finally within our right to declare 2014 a dud. We won't, though. It hasn't been that bad.
We have a terracotta figure, a Dolly, a hotel and a prison to thank for the bright spots in what's been a strange few months of highs and lows. Here are the stand-up moments for us so far... be sure to tell us, what have we missed?
Highs and Lows of 2014 So Far
HIGH: Hayley's emotional exit from Coronation Street(01 of30)
Tears and awards for a moving and thought-provoking soap exit (credit:ITV)
LOW: The Bey/Jay press camp's struggles(02 of30)
The infallible Carter clan suffered some pains during the first half of 2014. Everything was going swimmingly, as usual, until some suggestive photos and a video showcasing a little elevator incident hit the Web. Nothing was the same. We spent weeks debating why Solange lashed out at Jay Z and whether the scene signaled thunderstorms for the Bey/Jay wedding bed. Then the duo didn't attend the Kimye wedding, and Kanye West began omitting Jay's name from his lyrics during live performances. There were reports of the duo's On the Run Tour fizzling out. (Those have since been largely denounced. Phew.) Everything will work out for America's first couple of pop, as it always does, but the past couple of months had the Beygency on high alert and the rest of us lighting candles to ward off the demons that overtook their spotless record. (credit:Getty Images)
HIGH: Dolly arrived, sang and conquered Glastonbury(03 of30)
And it was all real, every note.
LOW: Superhero saturation(04 of30)
If the world isn't seeing superhero movies, it's talking about them. Three of the five highest-grossing films of the year so far are comic book adaptations ("Captain America: The Winter Soldier," "X-Men: Days of Future Past," "The Amazing Spider-Man 2"). In August, we'll see "Guardians of the Galaxy" and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." The rest of the time will be spent tracking down rumours, anticipating casting news, hoping forgotten superheroes get their big-screen break and forecasting the never-ceasing onslaught of expensive butt-kicking. That we're on overdrive is old news, but as plenty of thinkpieces indicate, geez, are these movies getting boring. (credit:Associated Press)
HIGH: "Orange Is the New Black" Season 2(05 of30)
The second round of Netflix's most successful show was just as watchable as its first. Three of the season's standouts -- Danielle Brooks, Adrienne C. Moore and Samira Wiley -- are seen here, but they're a mere morsel in the wonder of Jenji Kohan's series. Fans are on high alert for signs the show will stumble into the same bombastic territory "Weeds" did, and while Season 2 is not without flaws, "Orange Is the New Black" is again the year's most dynamic comedy. (credit:Netflix)
HIGH: Lupita Nyong'o in "Star Wars: Episode VII" (and pretty much everything else about "Star Wars: Episode VII")(06 of30)
After that photo from the first "Episode VII" table read became the coolest way to electrify "Star Wars" fans (not that it takes much), every piece of news to emerge from the Rebel Alliance base elicited bliss. The apex came about a month after the first cast photo, when Lupita Nyong'o joined the lineup. She's rumored to be playing a villain in the film, which sounds perfect to us. Also in great "Star Wars" news: everything except Harrison Ford's on-set injury, but especially the fact that Rian Johnson will write and direct "Episode VIII," and at least write "Episode IX." The Force is strong with that one. (credit:Getty Images)
LOW: Katie Price's love triangle(07 of30)
The nation woke from its lunch hour to the news that Katie Price's husband had been cheating on her, with her best friend, of 20 years. Not since the helicopters tracked OJ's Bronco have readers/watchers waited with such baited breath for the next update.
HIGH: Cheryl and Mel B teaming up for X Factor(08 of30)
They're just like buses... no simmering A-list Alpha female for two years, and then two come along at once. That Simon Cowell... if you can say one nice thing about him, it's that he can smell which way the wind's blowing. Which still doesn't explain Louis Walsh.
LOW: Lee Ryan's love antics on Celebrity Big Brother(09 of30)
It was a one-man televisual car crash, as the Blue singer oscillated between one upcoming model/entertainer/glamour puss and another, and then couldn't understand why the nation turned. And yet, still his biggest failure on the show... failing to remember the words to a song he'd written himself. Five minutes before.
HIGH: Steve McQueen's Oscar win(10 of30)
Well-deserved, but no less welcome, the Brit's gong for '12 Years A Slave' - and defying Gravity while he was about it.
LOW: Paparazzo attacker guy(11 of30)
In 2012, Will Smith slapped Ukrainian journalist Vitalii Sediuk after he tried to kiss Jada Pinkett on a red carpet. This year the same "nutter" (Brad Pitt's word, not ours) grabbed Bradley Cooper's and Leonardo DiCaprio's crotches, peeked under America Ferrara's dress (aiming for Cate Blanchett) and struck Pitt across the face. Sediuk is now performing community service while wearing a shirt with Pitt's bare chest on it. The world is no longer safe. (credit:Getty Images)
HIGH: Morph's return(12 of30)
The original terracotta warrior is back on YouTube after a Kickstarter campaign and a whole lot of nostalgic love.
HIGH: George Michael back at the top of the charts(13 of30)
He may not be able to drive a car in a straight line, or, in fact, stay sitting in one, but the man can still knock out a tune - as proved, with the arrival of his live album 'Symphonica' at the top of the charts.
LOW: Barbara Knox aka Rita's arrest(14 of30)
Drink-driving - bad. "Don't you know who I am?" - unforgivable.
HIGH: "The Fault in Our Stars"(15 of30)
John Green's best-selling YA novel spread its weepy wings across theaters, collecting an impressive $48 million out of the gate. Alongside "Heaven is For Real," it's one of only two films in the year's 20 most lucrative that was made for less than $15 million. (credit:Associated Press)
LOW: Gary Barlow's tax avoidance(16 of30)
The Golden Boy of the Diamond Jubilee blotted his copybook proper with revelations that he and two of his fellow Take Thatters had participated in a scheme to keep all his coins in a pot away from HM Taxman. All three banged to rights, but Gary got the brunt of the dismay, because he's got more cash to hide under the bed.
HIGH: The McConaissance continues(17 of30)
We're already mentioned that "True Detective" is great. The moody HBO drama premiered in January and was nearing its conclusion when McConaughey scored the Best Actor Oscar for "Dallas Buyers Club." The guy was everywhere for the span of about three months, and we never tired of hearing him holler, "All right, all right, all right!" Earlier this month, he won his first TV award when the Critics' Choice Television Awards handed him Best Actor in a Drama Series. He's essentially guaranteed an Emmy nomination for the role (and could win), and we'll see a whole other round of McConaughey love emerge when Christopher Nolan's "Interstellar" premieres in November. (credit:Associated Press)
LOW: There's another "Transformers" movie(18 of30)
Read the reviews. Just read 'em. (credit:Associated Press)
LOW: Michael Jackson hologram at the Billboard Music Awards(19 of30)
The King of Pop died five years ago. This is how you honour him? (credit:Getty Images)
HIGH: The best-reviewed movie of the year is also one of the highest-grossing(20 of30)
This isn't a foreign concept ("Toy Story 3" earned both honors in 2010), but the bulk of any given year's critical darlings are often not associated with colossal box-office intake. "The Lego Movie," which has 96 percent positive reviews and $257 million in domestic grosses, has already broken the barrier between critical favorability and widespread popularity. (credit:AP)
LOW: The Other Woman(21 of30)
Revenge caper starring Cameron Diaz, Kate Upton and Leslie Mann as a bunch of attractive women made extraordinarily unappealing by their mean actions towards a dimwitted man who was dating them all.An international junket of mammoth proportions and all the questions in the world about Cameron Diaz's single/40/childless status couldn't detract from the nastiness of this 'com'.
HIGH: "Happy" has dominated(22 of30)
Fine, it's a tad overplayed. But admit it: You still adore "Happy." Pharrell Williams' hit spent 10 consecutive weeks at No. 1, making us smile and feel all sorts of corny, dance-worthy things each time we heard it. It also led to the Oscars' best moment (including groovy moves from Meryl Streep, Lupita Nyong'o and Amy Adams), a touching Oprah interview and a slew of viral videos. (credit:Getty Images)
LOW: One Direction refusing to stay young and beautiful(23 of30)
Louis Tomlinson and Zayn Malik finally put paid to the myth that the One Direction boys sit around like the Waltons between gigs, with a video of them imbibing of the local herb on tour. A few muted apologies all round, but the message is clear... clean up your act, boys... 5 Seconds of Summer are snapping at your heels.
HIGH: "The Grand Budapest Hotel" may be Wes Anderson's best movie(24 of30)
It's certainly his highest-grossing, as well as the highest-grossing opening weekend for a limited release in history. (credit:AP)
LOW: People like Gary Oldman and Justin Bieber still can't keep their mouths shut(25 of30)
Because apparently Mel Gibson, Michael Richards and Paula Dean didn't do enough to demonstrate the perils of public prejudice, it's 2014 and we still have people spouting racial invective. Bieber's blunder, to his slight credit, technically occurred when he was 15. That's at least moderately better than Oldman, who, at 56, managed to badmouth Jews, gays, blacks, women, media personalities and general political correctness in one fell swoop. The whole thing is so inane that it's almost not worth mentioning how shameful it is that Oldman couldn't take the time to craft words that didn't insult masses of people. But enmity, sadly, is nothing new in Hollywood. Good thing the public hasn't become any more forgiving. (credit:Getty Images)
HIGH: Same-sex weddings at the Grammys(26 of30)
Macklemore and Ryan Lewis used their anthem "Same Love" to promote same love at the Grammys in February. Thirty-three couples of varying genders, races and ages wed with the nation as their witness while Mary Lambert and Madonna joined the duo onstage and Queen Latifah officiated. The event didn't provide the cultural climax the telecast's organizers were hoping for, but it was a touching moment nonetheless. (credit:AP)
LOW: News that Pudsey The Movie is on its way(27 of30)
There really is no excuse for this, except that cold, hard cash speaks loudly and can buy a lot of doggy biscuits.
HIGH: BGT's embrace of Paddy and Nico(28 of30)
This, on the other hand... okay, we're fickle. We never claimed to be consistent.
LOW: Gwyneth and Chris's 'conscious uncoupling'(29 of30)
This veggie plot ain't big enough for the both of us... After years of never being photographed together, an Oscar winner and Grammy winner announced their separation, and were promptly snapped together all the flipping time. All very confusing, and nothing at all to do with the release of Coldplay's new album.
HIGH OR LOW? The Kimye wedding(30 of30)
We don't even know. You decide. (credit:Getty Images)