The contestants appearing on this year’s series of ‘The Apprentice’ have now been announced, which can mean only one thing: we’ve been treated to a plethora of cringey introductory quotes.
Among the new one-liners are comparisons to the Duracell bunny, ‘The Wolf Of Wall Street’ and a caffeinated Willy Wonka, while phrases like “I’m a serious mumpreneur”, “I ain’t no Vanilla Camilla” and “call me ‘Google’, it’s my middle name” have all been thrown around as the newbies try to make a strong first impression.
And despite these introductions being among the most toe-curling in 13 years of ‘The Apprentice’, that hasn’t stopped fans of the show on Twitter photoshopping the contestants’ bios to make their introductions even more embarrassing.
Here’s a round-up of some of our favourites, starting with the most believable slowly leading into the more surreal offerings...
And, of course, then the brands chimed in...
Yeah, we’re not convinced about that last one, in all honesty...
Lord Sugar and his advisors, Claude Littner and Karren Brady, will be back for a brand new series of ‘The Apprentice’ next week, with a special challenge that takes the 16 newcomers overseas.
Find out more about the new crop of contestants here.
Meet The 'Apprentice' 2018 Candidates
Sarah Ann Magson(01 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 37
Occupation: Solicitor
She says: "I am used to laying down the law in the courtroom, but now I’m going to lay down the law in the boardroom" (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)
Alex Finn(02 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 21
Occupation: IT ananlyst
He says: "I know everything. Call me 'Google', it's my middle name." (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)
Sabrina Stocker(03 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 22
Occupation: Owner of a tennis events company
She says: "I am a mix of Willy Wonka drinking an espresso martini… classy and sophisticated on the outside; inside, a little bit crazy and wacky but full of brilliant ideas.” (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)
David Alden(04 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 32
Occupation: Tax advisor
He says: "My friends and family call me the Duracell bunny as I take on so much and never stop. I just keep going." (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)
Kayode Damali(05 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 26
Occupation: Professional speaker
He says: "I’m not here to razzle dazzle and hit you with buzzwords…anyone can say those things and I’m not anyone, I’m Kayode Damali. If you’re not your own biggest fan, who do you expect to be it for you?" (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)
Sian Gabbidon(06 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 25
Occupation: Swimwear company owner
She says: "I bring both the passion and the fire - in the boardroom, I will be merciless." (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)
Tom Bunday(07 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 28
Occupation: Tree surgery firm owner
He says: “There are very few people that can genuinely say they’re going to make it - but I know that I’m going to.” (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)
Khadija Kalifa(08 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 28
Occupation: Eco-cleaning company owner
She says: "I’m a serious Mumpreneur who doesn’t have time for time-wasters and idiocy." (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)
Daniel Elahi(09 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 28
Occupation: Lifestyle brand owner
He says he's like Jordan Belfort from 'Wolf Of Wall Street' because of his "entrepreneurial skills" and "lavish, party lifestyle" (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)
Jackie Fast(10 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 34
Occupation: Sponsorship consultant
She says: "I'm a trailblazer... I'm not intimidated by anyone or anything." (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)
Kurran Pooni(11 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 22
Occupation: Law graduate
He says: "I don’t eat, sleep, breathe business but I do eat, sleep and breathe success." (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)
Camilla Ainsworth(12 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 22
Occupation: Nut milk brand owner
She says: "I ain’t no Vanilla Camilla." (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)
Rick Monk(13 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 33
Occupation: Quality controller
He says: "I won't pussyfoot and waste time. People will have to like it or lump it." (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)
Sarah Byrne(14 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 29
Occupation: Children's acting academy owner
She says: "I am me, I don’t have a posh accent or pretend to be anyone else. My personality sells me, my passion to succeed and work ethic. (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)
Frank Brooks(15 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 27
Occupation: Senior marketing manager
He says: “There's no need to watch your back when I'm already two steps in front.” (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)
Jasmine Kundra(16 of16)
Open Image ModalAge: 34
Occupation: Learning and development manager
She says: "All is fair in love and war…and business is war." (credit:BBC/Boundless Taylor Herring)