"You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."(01 of14)
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"When you have a great audience, you can just keep going and finding new things."(02 of14)
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"Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus."(03 of14)
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"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."(04 of14)
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"A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while."(05 of14)
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On acting: "All the new people you meet, it's pretty amazing. The vampire needs new blood. And there is still a lot to learn and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful."(06 of14)
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"Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your child as an adult saying 'I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award.' The other is 'You want fries with that?'"(07 of14)
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"You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married say ‘It’s the same sex all the time.'"(08 of14)
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"When in doubt, go for the dick joke."(09 of14)
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"Most of all, I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor, he said, 'Wonderful. Just have a back-up profession like welding'."(10 of14)
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On his mentor, Jonathan Winters: "Jonathan taught me that the world is open for play, that everything and everybody is mockable, in a wonderful way."(11 of14)
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"Never fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose."(12 of14)
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"I love kids, but they are a tough audience."(13 of14)
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"Comedy is acting out optimism."(14 of14)
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