Dear BBC,
We know you're probably struggling to fill Jeremy Clarkson's shoes on Top Gear after fracas-gate, so we thought we'd help out.
Here's 11 people who could genuinely replace him:
Who could replace Clarkson
Katie Hopkins(01 of11)
If you're looking for someone who doesn't mind being purposefully offensive, look no further than Katie Hopkins. The controversy magnet hits the headlines more often than all the Top Gear stars put together, normally because she's offended someone/a large group of people.
Nigel Farage(02 of11)
You've suspended a pint-loving smoker who has his head stuck in the 1940s? Why not employ someone exactly the same person?Nigel Farage has virtually the same political views as Clarkson, so he'd probably be a good fit.
Vladimir Putin(03 of11)
If you want someone with outdated ideas about their country's military might and an odd desire to look as masculine as possible, the Russian leader would be a good one to go for. Although he probably won't be free any time soon, he's probably going to be running the Kremlin until he dies.
Piers Morgan(04 of11)
If you've ever seen one of Piers' epic Twitter spats with Clarkson, you'll know he's remarkably similar in many ways. The same fashion sense, a similarly punchable face, and all the rest of it.
Angela Rippon(05 of11)
She did so well presenting it in 1977, why not bring her back?
John Inverdale(06 of11)
Who better to take over from Clarkson's controversy-laden style than the man who brought us "rose-c***ed spectacles"?
Dapper Laughs(07 of11)
Here's someone as offensive and widely hated as Clarkson, who'll undoubtedly make the same kind of unpleasant jokes just because he thinks they're funny. If maximum offensiveness is what you're going for, snap up the world's least funny comedian ASAP.
Chris Evans(08 of11)
Chris Evans has been rumoured to be one of the next in line to host the car show, so it might be the right move.
Alan Partridge(09 of11)
The veteran radio host's alter ego Steve Coogan is quite the petrol-head, having appeared on the show several times. But wouldn't it be great for the man from Norwich to take you around the Top Gear track whining about "POWERRRR" is his trademark nasal voice?
Kanye West(10 of11)
Potentially the only ego bigger than Clarkson's.
Mr Blobby(11 of11)
He'd certainly be more coherent than Clarkson at times. He's probably also a bit skinnier and a better driver.
You're welcome, Beeb.
SEE ALSO:
17 Times Jeremy Clarkson Did Something Outrageous
The Dog-Naming Incident(01 of11)
A lot of people got upset when Clarkson named his new dog 'Didier Drogba'. To be fair, they were probably over-reacting.... (credit:Jeremy Clarkson/Twitter)
When He Joked About A Plane Crash Just After MH370 Crashed(03 of11)
"The oxygen masks have deployed. Goodbye everyone." Admittedly it must have been worrying but the timing was pretty poor.
When He Slagged Off the Entire Country(04 of11)
(05 of11)
In 2012 he breached BBC guidelines by comparing a Japanese car to people with growths on their faces. A member of the public complained about the "offensive" remarks after Clarkson likened the shape of a Prius campervan to someone with "a growth on their face" and referred to it as the "elephant car".
When PETA Had A Go At Him(06 of11)
Clarkson was labelled a bully and "ignorant and unfeeling" by animals rights group Peta after posting a picture of a mouse supposedly squashed during rehearsals for Top Gear's live show online.
The Whole Falklands Thing(07 of11)
If you didn't hear about this one then where have you been?! The number plate. The being chased out of the country. The repeated denials. It had EVERYTHING.
The 'Slope' Incident Part 2(09 of11)
Clarkson claimed to be the victim of a Twitter hack when a now deleted a picture of a sign saying ‘entrance to slope’, with the caption ‘this is just obscene’ emerged from his accountBut he later denied having sent such a tweet.
Trivialising Train Suicides(10 of11)
Clarkson became embroiled in further controversy after describing people who throw themselves under trains as "selfish".
The Dead Chinese Cockle-Pickers(11 of11)
Writing in The Sun, the Top Gear presenter made fun of synchronised swimming as nothing more than "Chinese women in hats, upside down, in a bit of water".He added: "You can see that sort of thing on Morecambe Beach. For free."In 2004 23 cockle-pickers drowned after becoming trapped by rising tides in the Lancashire bay.
READ MORE:
- Jeremy Clarkson Suspended From 'Top Gear'
- The BBC Just Had The Worst Afternoon Ever...
- Was Bad Catering To Blame For Clarkson's 'Fracas'?
- ‘Bring Back Clarkson' Petition Gains A Huge Number Of Signatories
- Clarkson: 'I'm Having A Nice Cold Pint And Waiting For This To Blow Over'
- Katie Hopkins Defends Clarkson: 'Enough Lefty Lunacy'
- 17 Other Times Jeremy Clarkson Did Something Utterly Outrageous
- BLOG: BBC - Turning A Fracas Into A Crisis